Stressinggg

Anyone else feeling stressed out this week? How about feeling like they are being weeded out? As odd as that term sounds, its a phrase that most college students recognize and that some can even relate too. No potheads, I am not talking about that kind of weed. The concept of being "weeded out" that I am talking about is that through process of elimination, the people who get the best grades and do well in classes will rise to the top while those who fall behind and don't do well will fall to the bottom and get cut. With all of these finals, group projects, and term papers being due all within the exact same week, it is easy to get the feeling like you are falling behind the other students and being put in the back of the pack. Especially for someone like me, a first semester freshman, all of this work can get to be overwhelming and almost to the point of feeling unbearable. Coming from a small high school where I was toward the top of my class no matter what subject it was, it is difficult to deal with the fact that I am now at this huge university with some of the most brilliant minds from around the world. How in the world am I supposed to compete with that? Is there a way for me to even compare?

I can't be the only one stressed out this week.

I think one of the main causes of my stress is that I am looking at this from a very "Theory 1" type perspective. According to Menard (remember him? I know it was a few months ago) I am looking at college as this sorting mechanism that works to separate the best from the worst by using grades and GPAs. This theory is very similar to the concept of being "weeded out" and be almost as equally intimidating. 

So if looking at college through some of the teachings from Menard is not causing me any comfort, maybe I can turn to some of the other theorists we've learned about throughout this semester. Flipping through the course readings, it is amazing to look at the variety of theorists that we have studied throughout this course. I believe that I am going to stay away from applying the theories of Machiavelli and Walzer to college seeing as they might get me in trouble. Although they say that any unjust means can me justified as long as they have a just end, I believe that tactics like cheating to get ahead will be frowned upon here at U of M. Socrates in both the Apology and the Crito offers a valuable lesson on the importance of knowledge and a search for truth. But although I will try to learn as much as I can here at college, going on a noble search for truth sounds a bit lofty and unattainable in the four years allotted to me here. Should I take a lesson from Iris Young in "Throwing Like a Girl" and accept that there must be something separating me from being as good as the men in my classes? I don't think so. So although I enjoyed learning about all of these different theorists and their ideas, who am I left to turn to in my time of need?

I would not suggest following Machiavellian theories in college in order to be successful.

My mind wanders back to a video that we watched back in early September that accompanied our reading of the Apology. It was a Ted video of Kathryn Schulz talking about being wrong. I remember finding this video very inspiring and decided to go back and take a second look at it. In the video, she explains how it is ok to make mistakes in life and how we actually end up becoming better and smarter people because of them. She says that being wrong is perfectly normal and a part of human nature and goes on to expand on societies views of these concepts. I think that of all the things that we learned this semester, her talk might be what is what is most helpful/comforting to me, at least for the current moment. According to her ideas, it is alright if I don't get a perfect grade on the huge exam on Friday. It is acceptable for my group project to not turn out as well as I wanted it to. And although its scary, its ok to have a possibility of a bad grade. I will learn from my mistakes and from them I will become a better person in the future. I hope that it serves as a little comfort to you all too in this very stressful week.